As Mr. E points out, it is not really that surprising that on the day that two adults and one toddler get the stomach flu, or some such virus, that that is the day the sewer breaks down and has to have a plumber in. And luckily the Junebug was much more lightly sick than the adults. No diarrhea, just puking. A few times. Mostly on the carpet. Or so I hear, because I wasn't taking care of it; I was in bed for two days, basically, with occasional fast and horrible trips to the bathroom. And my in-laws are in town, which was lucky! For us, I mean, not for them, because my mother-in-law was the other person who got badly sick.
It is bad luck that this was the same week that Rocket got his second tooth in, though.
Also I got a new phone! I believe in running things into the ground, but my old phone was older than my kids - I have such strong memories of lying in the tub reading on my Kindle app and feeling terrible during the Junebug's birth - and it finally started to die. Amusingly, what it started to do was get random gibberish ghost input on the screen. Not at all amusingly, this random gibberish actually did stuff; including uninstalling apps; including the app that I have been using to track my budget and expenses and stupidly, like an idiot, hadn't backed up. And it's a standalone local only app! So! A year's worth of data gone.
But at least I have a new phone. An iPhone, even!
And this morning, I would have been bitching about - I know this is the definition of a My Diamond Encrusted Shoes Are Too Tight problem, but when I decided to switch from Android to Apple, I hadn't actually realized you were stuck with the Apple keyboard. I knew you could download mail apps, IM apps, GMaps, I hadn't realized you couldn't use a different keyboard! And holy shit, the Apple keyboard SUCKS! It's wrist-breaking! And all the apps cost like twice as much! And the interface is so elegant and shit it's impossible to figure out how to do anything!
And as I say, that's what I was grumpy about this morning, before I went to the bathroom and the phone slid out of my pocket and landed in the toilet.
And now I am beyond grumpy about my very, very expensive coaster.
Yes, it's in a bag of rice. I am trying to be calm about this.
It is harder when I am still not feeling well; and the house is a trashed nightmare because we have been sick and Mr. E has bronchitis, and he and my father in law have been running around taking care of the sickies and the kids; and nothing is clean; and I accidentally worked an extra hour today because my work hasn't changed the clocks on the walls, and I didn't have my phone to check the time on.
And today I had to be That Parent who writes in to the Junebug's daycare and very, very, very politely suggests that the teachers should not start dividing up the motherfucking TWO YEAR OLDS into boys vs. girls because goddammit do we really have to start this already. Do we HAVE to. Mr. E jumped in immediately to back me up, which was lovely, but still.
And the Junebug still hates me and responds to every single time he sees me by sobbing or telling me to go away. Except Saturday, we played together in the morning and it was lovely. Afternoon, he was back to telling me to go away. I tell you this because ten years from now when he really does go to boarding school, I want you to know it's not because I want to get rid of him. It's not. He's going to want to go. I know what a kid who would chew his own leg off to get away from his mother looks like.
Last night I was getting a last snack before going to bed and suddenly a spider the size of my thumbnail appeared dangling from the top of the cupboard 4 inches directly in front of my eyes. And nope! I did not have the emotional resources to manage it right then! I have a note from the universe, goddammit! I am excused from Giant Spiders this week!
But everyone else was sick or asleep with earplugs in or under 3 years old. It was me and Giant Spider, and Giant Spider refused to read my note.
So I had to deal with it.
I did deal with it. I did. I remain extremely grateful that I am able to deal with it. I don't take that for granted. But Christ, can't we build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere? Or, I take that back. Can't we build character somewhere with no puking or losing money at all?