Sophinisba Solis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sophinisba) wrote2007-03-14 02:06 pm
sophinisba) wrote2007-03-14 02:06 pm
Entry tags:
drabble set - "Grief" (3/5)
Merry angst, rated G.
Grief
Merry thinks Aragorn's words to the Healers ought to make him proud to be a hobbit, but he doesn't feel proud, except perhaps when he thinks of Pippin, holding his own through the siege and the battle and the fire and then coming out into the city to find him, or when he thinks of Frodo and Sam battling through the wilderness and into more fire. Pippin and Frodo and Sam are his dear friends and they would make anyone proud to be a hobbit, except that Merry feels friendless and sad, and not much like a hobbit at all.
The thought of Frodo and Sam in Mordor doesn't help to cheer him. He knows everyone – especially hobbits – is meant to be confident of victory, but it gets harder with every blow they suffer, and if Merry's too weak even to stand, how can he hold up anyone else? He's relieved when Aragorn and Gandalf go out and he's left alone with Pippin, but he's afraid, too, that he'll be left alone completely. And he really doesn't think he could stand that, even if he had his health, even if he had his pipe and his pack, and sunlight and green grass.
Pippin laughs and teases him, then helps him sit up and light his pipe. Merry thinks of Strider on their journey, how he was always kind but sometimes unreachable. The only hobbit Merry's ever known to keep such silences is his Frodo, and now Merry thinks it's Frodo's old grief that put that distance between them. He smokes and thinks how he'll never tell Théoden any more of the Shire. But he'll have to see Frodo again someday, and when they talk, or when they sit together quietly, as Merry and Pippin sit now, perhaps they'll finally understand one another.
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Grief
Merry thinks Aragorn's words to the Healers ought to make him proud to be a hobbit, but he doesn't feel proud, except perhaps when he thinks of Pippin, holding his own through the siege and the battle and the fire and then coming out into the city to find him, or when he thinks of Frodo and Sam battling through the wilderness and into more fire. Pippin and Frodo and Sam are his dear friends and they would make anyone proud to be a hobbit, except that Merry feels friendless and sad, and not much like a hobbit at all.
The thought of Frodo and Sam in Mordor doesn't help to cheer him. He knows everyone – especially hobbits – is meant to be confident of victory, but it gets harder with every blow they suffer, and if Merry's too weak even to stand, how can he hold up anyone else? He's relieved when Aragorn and Gandalf go out and he's left alone with Pippin, but he's afraid, too, that he'll be left alone completely. And he really doesn't think he could stand that, even if he had his health, even if he had his pipe and his pack, and sunlight and green grass.
Pippin laughs and teases him, then helps him sit up and light his pipe. Merry thinks of Strider on their journey, how he was always kind but sometimes unreachable. The only hobbit Merry's ever known to keep such silences is his Frodo, and now Merry thinks it's Frodo's old grief that put that distance between them. He smokes and thinks how he'll never tell Théoden any more of the Shire. But he'll have to see Frodo again someday, and when they talk, or when they sit together quietly, as Merry and Pippin sit now, perhaps they'll finally understand one another.
next part | series tag | fic index
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but he's afraid, too, that he'll be left alone completely. And he really doesn't think he could stand that, even if he had his health, even if he had his pipe and his pack, and sunlight and green grass.
That, especially, breaks my heart.
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Oh, Merry. He takes on too much, he really does. And it was so horrible for him, losing Theoden, and soon he will be separated from Pippin again, and nearly all of his friends. This is a lovely glimpse of that.
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That's it exactly, that's what makes me want to write about him and his angst ALL THE TIME. Thanks for indulging me.
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I am babbling here but I do like how you write Merry; I really love him, and I love seeing more of him.
(Also, you write a great Pippin.)
♥!!!
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Thank you, Dana. You know, you're the reason I wrote that other Merry and Pippin story, and that's where I found my Merry Angst Muse, and I do so love writing this stuff. ♥
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I would like to see you write Merry's response after the hobbits are returned to the city. Merry's fear of being left alone must have seemed to be coming terribly true, as the three battered bodies are brought back to be (hopefully) healed. His sadness here is so palpable that it hurts.
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Poor Merry.
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*hugs him very much*
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