sophinisba | Rangers!

What happened with Nobody Else,love? I think I read it the next morning. Did it keep you awake thinking about those two sweet, lovable boys?

Oh, no big deal. I just tend to feel really vulnerable after I post fic, worry that people won't like it and so on. It works best for me if I post in the morning and then have other things to keep me busy for at least a few hours, and then get the comments when I get home.

oooh, I totally understand. Sometimes when I've posted something and I want to go to bed, I keep refreshing until at least one person has commented. THen I can breathe a sigh of relief that something wasn't dreadfully wrong with the fic and that at least one person might have enjoyed it. :-) Gosh, but it's been a long time since I've actually posted anything besides crackfic...

Yeah, I posted this one just after midnight and then stayed online refreshing for about another hour. It was just not a good plan. I was really tense about it in the morning, regretted having posted, the whole deal. I think posting it at a weird time had to do with the feedback coming in a little more slowly, and at first that made me think, yeah, there must be something dreadfully wrong with the fic.

I really have no sense of perspective at all on my own writing, can't judge which ones are better than others, though I do have my favorites.

And I didn't mean to go into the whole insecurity thing in a public post, but oh well. :)

awww...*pets*

There is such a variety of reasons why people don't read and 90 percent of the time it has nothing at all to do with the quality of hte piece. But you knew that. As do I. Never makes it easier. Like me...I'm so far behind in reading stuff because my brain has been scattered and I'm stressed about RL. So often times I skim past something and think well unless it's a pairing and/or scenario that just thrills me to death, I think, well, I'll come back to that. And then I forget or get lazy. It's the disadvantage of not having some central place where EVERYONE just uploads their fics.

I have no perspective on my fics, either, none. But I do know that if I get a lukewarm or meh response, I'm unlikely to be thrilled about continuing if it's a WIP...;-)

Yeah, I do know there are a ton of different reasons, and I hesitated to link to it again in this post because, you know, I like to pretend I'm not that needy. But then again, people actually do miss posts, because LJ moves that fast.

It's actually funny because with this one I was coming up with all these reasons to console myself on the first day, saying I posted it at the wrong time, and anyway Faculty people want slash and mine didn't have any so I shouldn't take it personally, and so on. Later on the comments picked up and I've actually heard from people on this one who'd never read anything of mine before, so it's all completely delightful, but just goes to show that I really have no idea whether a fic of mine is any good until other people tell me.

But I feel good about this one now, and feel really good about the M/P I posted over the weekend. That one's been read by a lot less people (which I completely understand), but the comments that are there have made me really proud. So. Dependent on external validation, yes, that's me. I don't seem to be getting over that. :)

I think it's great that you can freely admit that need for external validation. I totally admire that. :-) So many of us strive NOT to depend on it and want to believe that we don't, but the truth of the matter is, most of us depend on it on some level, some more than others. I've gotten much better over the years, and I'm way better than I was even a year ago. But I've also committed fully to writing only for myself and not to please an audience. The audience can choose whether to be pleased or not by the result. :-)

But of course, you know this and I know this -- be careful of the external validation because I've found that the things that are most dear to us are sometimes the stories that get the least attention. You want to know what story of mine got just tons of feedback and emails and requests for more? Nope, not some canon-based epic. Nope, not even good interspecies sex. Certainly not the Frodo/Sam WIP I once attempted.

It was a fic written on the spur of the moment mpreg AU in which Frodo was pregnant with twins. Why? I'm convinced because it just hit those kink buttons for those who enjoy that kink, lol *cough, Lily, *cough*).

Was this my best work? Nope. Was it the work I was most proud of? Certainly not. The stories that I'm most proud of hardly passed with any recognition from anyone. And yet I'm still most proud of them..;-)

I'm TOTALLY babbling here and probably didn't make much sense, but I'm tired...! :-)

I don't know, most of the time I try not to talk about it, I think because the last thing I want is to put pressure on other people to read and review just in order to make me feel good. On the other hand, I would feel dishonest if I said I didn't care about feedback. I wouldn't write fanfic if it weren't a social activity. I certainly wouldn't keep at it if I didn't have a few people telling me they enjoy reading and think I'm doing a good job. It's not that I want to be Famous or anything, but I can't be doing it just for myself.

I have heard from a lot of people that you won't get as much feedback for the fics you care the most about. I've found it to be true too and I try not to mind. I think it's only natural, really, that folks would enjoy something that I wrote easily, didn't take to much time with. I've got a long Frodo WIP on my hard drive that I've been writing on and off from the very beginnning, and I've decided not to post any part of it until I finish the whole thing, because I'm afraid that once I start posting chapters I'll be disapointed by the lack of response and that will keep me from wanting to finish it. And I love that fic, and I would hate to have a bad experience with it or give it up half way. So I need to just write it for myself (and show some pieces of it to Dana) and then share it with the world (and have, you know, maybe two people follow it to the end).

I don't know, maybe that's a little contradictory, but yeah. Thanks for the conversation, Claudia. This is fun.

Whee, I'm on now and so am seeing this right away. This is a fascinating discussion, actually.

Absolutely. Writing fan fic and posting it IS a social activity. If I want to get pleasure out of a story just for myself, I'll write it in my notebook and keep it there. I won't share even a little bit with anyone because the moment I do that, then the community owns it on some level. If nobody comments, I feel like a.) the premise or pairing wasn't intriguing, b.) it really, really sucked and my friends are just being polite by saying nothing c.) bad timing...the people who would normally read it are busy, didn't see it, etc. or d.) all of the above, lol!

And I'm ashamed that I've quit writing some WIPs because the feedback was lukewarm or not plentiful or the people that I thought would really enjoy it didn't even read it, etc. Honestly, I'd rather have fewer comments but from people whose feedback means a lot to me than to have tons of feedback from a bunch of strangers that say things like "write more soon!" or "that was good!" :-)

What is your Frodo WIP about?

And I have to sincerely apologize for the betaing of your last few chapters. I have never in my life been this irresponsible about a beta. I swear it has nothing to do with the story. I absolutely LOVE the story and your writing. It really is all about being so stressed and unsatisfied with my life lately that I can't freakin' remember anything from one moment to the next unless it's sitting right in front of my nose, and I can't seem to organize the rest of my life. And then I switched computers which threw me off even more...I know you resent me those chapters awhile back and ... somehow all this time just slipped by...I"ll get done what I have tomorrow! (I know you said you were rewriting the last chapter or something??)

Claudia Thomas, did I not tell you to quit apologizing about the beta thing? I get it, it's not about me, not everything is about me. I understand you have other stuff going on. I actually just have general angst about that story right now. When I'm feeling more energized about it I will ask one of the regular readers if she can take a look at the next couple chapters and chat with me about the end. If you did happen to do it tomorrow I would accept that gratefully, but NO PRESSURE, I tell you!

It's interesting what you say about getting substantial feedback from friends and "Yay!" from strangers. I personally can't seem to shake this belief that my friends say nice things about my fics because we're friends, and not because the fic itself is especially good. I feel awful saying this, because I love my lj friends and the loyal readers, but I actually get more excited over hearing from somebody who's just popped by for the one fic and tells me she liked it. It's just been a marvelous experience with the M/P though because I've gotten a couple really meaty comments from people who haven't read any of my fics or interacted with me much before, so I don't have that same insecurity about it.

My monster endless post-quest AU WIP is kinda/sorta secret, though not really. I just can't see a lot of people who've read my stuff in the past following the whole thing, because it takes place mostly in the Shire and has bits of het and femslash in it and for some other reasons. And I get the feeling that people who do like nice fic about hobbits in the Shire tend to be a little less tolerant of crazy AUs than the interspecies gang. But I might be just imagining that. Anyway, I do love the story. I'll finish it someday. (And I when I do I would encourage you to read just the first chapter of it, which is the one that has Aragorn in it.)

That's certainly a good point about the feedback from friends vs. feedback from a stranger who is stopping in. If it's a long, meaty feedback, then I'm totally with you on that. Oh, I rue the day that my old computer got a virus because it took wtih it all the emails that I had saved to my hard drive (but deleted from my email) that I just cherished because they were long and detailed and from people who didn't know me very well if at all...:-) So I know that heady feeling. It's very nice. I don't get that anymore at all, really. I don't think anyone goes to my website unless they know it's there already and if they know it's there, they most generally know I have an LJ and are following it there, lol.

For MY part, I know I don't read anything that I don't want to read so if I'm giving feedback, it's always real and not just to "be nice". So that might mean I don't read every pairing or scenario (unless I just get in that mood to read anything), but when I do I'm all excited about it!

Well, that's really cool about your WIP. It's true that the scenario sounds MUCH more Dana's cuppa, lol, with the femslash and het. But if you are getting really into writing it and are enjoying yourself with it, then that's what you should be writing.

I HOPE one day you'll be inspired to write a Frodo/Aragorn WIP because you write the pairing so well! :-) But I don't want to pressure your muse because I believe that one should always follow one's muse...:-)

I do want to do a Frodo/Aragorn story, actually. Not a WIP because I've got these issues with those, but I've wanted to do a Weathertop to Rivendell one with lots of attention to canon and UST up the wahzoo. I think that would be fun. The interspecies pairing that's been on my mind more recently is Frodo/Faramir. I think I told you a few weeks ago I'd resolved to write a Really Good F/F. Only then I went back to the book and got frustrated because certain parts were less slashy than ~~in the movie~~ I'd remembered, and I really had wanted to do this one with more of a book feel to it. I'll get back to the idea eventually though.

And I'm not actually working on the post-quest one right now either. I just take out parts of it every once in a while and remember that I love it and want to finish it someday. I think for the next little while it'll be my Frodo challenge fic and probably some short Faculty stuff. And, er, school stuff.

Oh, I'll take a great Frodo/Faramir story, too! Any day, me dear! :-)

Okay, if you're not in any hurry with the other Frodo one, maybe I'll delay the beta a little while longer, too (since I have a whole list of things to get through today, lol) :-)

Oh, yes, I know that feeling too. It's nervous-making, wondering if anyone will read something you've posted, isn't it?

Yeah, I keep thinking I'll get used to it and I won't find posting scary anymore, but that doesn't seem to be happening. It's definitely worth it though.

Oooh thanks for the link! I somehow missed it! ;-) Love the idea of Frodo getting...er...loud while pleasuring himself...:-D

Isn't it delicious?

aw, thank you. i am honored by the rec. *hugs*

Likewise, honey. (And I was totally planning on doing this post before I saw that you'd recced mine, I swear.) *hugs*

hee! *hugs again!*

Rangers!

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I'm okay now, it was just that first morning

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Viva interspecies

Re: Viva interspecies

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