writing meme

[sophinisba]

I'm not actually feeling at all creative right now, but I am feeling kind of lonely, hence the spam. Here is a fun meme gacked from schemingreader, almostnever, and kissing_athelas, among others:

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

ETA: I'm going out for a few hours. Thanks so much for coming to cheer me up, girls. Keep 'em coming, please. And feel free to write your own crack in the comments if you feel so inspired.

ETA: Back. Eh, who cares about term papers when there is crackfic to write?

Comments

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

D'oh! :D

Okay, the fellowship being indifferent when Frodo is hurt or sick omg, Sam GLADLY leaving Frodo in movie verse when Frodo says go home. :D

[westmoon.livejournal.com]

I want to read both of these!

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

hee! :D

[sophinisba]

LOL! I should combine all three of these and just have a big old NO ONE LOVES FRODO AU. :D

(I'm so pleased you and Baranduin signed up for the remix! Interspecies woot!)

[westmoon.livejournal.com]

I should combine all three of these and just have a big old NO ONE LOVES FRODO AU.

YESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sophinisba]

"Now, Mr. Frodo, that's the last straw! I've had it up to here with your gasping and whinging and falling down stairs so's you almost send me crashing down the cliff along with you. You know me and you know I like a good meal. If I weren't faithful to you and I cared more about stuffing my face than helping you out, do you really think I'd have come along with you this far? I've had plenty of chances to turn back, in case you didn't notice that while I was drowning in the Great River."

"You were a good friend and a help to me, Sam, but things have changed."

"I'll say."

"Are you going to defend yourself or not? Who else could have taken the lembas?"

"Well, I was sleepin' the whole time, and this one says he can't eat it, so I wonder."

"Sam, please, I didn't mean..."

"That's all right, sir. I was holding out hope that one of these days you'd see past your snooty upbringing and we could finally have a nice shag. I thought maybe once I got your cousins and those hunky Big Men out of the way I'd have a chance, but no. You'd rather stay up all night touching that thing. And anyhow you're so dirty and desperate these days I don't even like to look at you. Fine then."

"Are you really leaving me?"

"That's what it looks like, isn't it? Have a nice trip to through the Dark Land with your new best friend. I'm going to find my way back to Captain Faramir and see about getting me some real food and some action back in them caves."

[shirebound]

*reels dizzily and faints*

*revives long enough to glare at you ruffians*

maybe Faramir is keeping some wine chilled for when Sam finds his way back

[sophinisba]

I bet Faramir and Sam will have a very nice time UNTIL SAURON TAKES OVER THE WORLD OMG and then they will be sorry. Poor Frodo!

Thank you!

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

ahaha! This was great! :D Just perfect. :D Go away, Sam!

[sophinisba]

Poor Frodo!!!

[absolutefiction.livejournal.com]

i love this because it's like outlines how dumb it was for the writers to A. make frodo tell sam to leave and b. to allow sam to leave. um. SAM WOULD NEVER LEAVE! ESPECIALLY IF FRODO HAD BECOME SO FAR GONE THAT GOLLUM WAS ABLE TO POISON HIS MIND! IT'S NO BIG DEAL. ONLY THE WHOLE FATE OF MIDDLE EARTH RESTS ON IT! AND HIS FRODO!

[sophinisba]

Yeah yeah AND ALSO when he gets to the bottom and he finds the lembas and he CRUSHES IT IN HIS HAND omg rather than save it and bring it back to his Frodo who is frickin' starving omg wtf I HATE THAT!! (Thank you.)

[mariole.livejournal.com]

Be fair! Chubby Sam was just trying to lose weight. ;)

Yeah, really dorky, that bit...

[sophinisba]

I think it's Dom or Billy who says on the RotK cast commentary how much he hates it when someone's dying of thirst and they let precious drops of water spill out of the canteen just for the drama of it. I felt so validated to know I wasn't the only one to cringe every time I watch those bits.

[mariole.livejournal.com]

I think they both said it, and they would've been right! That scene bugged me even on first viewing -- both Lembas crumbling scene, and the spilled water scene in Mordor. Peter should've known better; as a New Zealander, he must have been out hiking a lot. He knows better than to waste his food and water! Ah, how silly people can be.

[absolutefiction.livejournal.com]

i CANNOT stand that he crushes the lambas!!1!!!! dom probs hates it too. member on the commentary how he pointed out that frodo wastes the water in the canteen when they're in mordor!

[sophinisba]

Ha ha yes I was just talking about that to Mariole in the comment just above yours. ♥ Dom. I need to watch those commentaries again.

[dreamflower]

*snerk* Honestly, I nearly choked! What a howler!

That bit *had* to be one of the top five *dumbest* bits in all three movies combined--maybe even at the very top, though Faramir taking them to Osgiliath, and Elrond in Theoden's camp come a close second.

Good for you to chop it down to size.

[sophinisba]

In a way, it was effective for me the first time I watched the movie because it was SO VERY WRONG and strange that after that I had no idea what was going to happen. So even though I'd read the book by then (I hadn't when I saw the first two movies) I was in horrible suspense through that whole thing until after the Tower of Cirith Ungol.

But yeah, not terribly in character for either of them. Ah well.

[mariole.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant! Oh, I'm laughing and dying at once.

You'd rather stay up all night touching that thing.

Is this the right time to confess that when you said "touching that thing", the thing that leapt to mind was not the Ring... :o

[sophinisba]

omg Mariole I am so SHOCKED that that would even occur to you! Glad you enjoyed yourself, anyway. :P