writing meme

[sophinisba]

I'm not actually feeling at all creative right now, but I am feeling kind of lonely, hence the spam. Here is a fun meme gacked from schemingreader, almostnever, and kissing_athelas, among others:

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

ETA: I'm going out for a few hours. Thanks so much for coming to cheer me up, girls. Keep 'em coming, please. And feel free to write your own crack in the comments if you feel so inspired.

ETA: Back. Eh, who cares about term papers when there is crackfic to write?

Comments

[aprilkat.livejournal.com]

Do they have to go together?

Snape wears red silk underwear, Harry develops a keen interest in accounting, and Lucius's fortune secretly turns out to be based on the sale of pignuts.

[sophinisba]

It wasn't so much the subject itself that Harry enjoyed as the immense satisfaction of seeing and showing how much smarter he was than Dudley. Dudley had always been the kind of boy that only stupid and deluded parents could love or claim was intelligent, so it wasn't new for Harry to feel that he was smarter, but he did like having it be so obvious.

Dudley was having to attend summer school because he'd failed the subject during the school year. He'd ordered Harry to do his homework for him, since Dudley had more important things to do like hanging out with his friends. At first Harry had protested but, once he realized he couldn't get out of it, he started to enjoy how quickly he could figure things out when he knew that Dudley hadn't even begun to catch on after nine long months in school. He liked explaining things to his cousin the way one would to a particularly stupid child. He liked it when Petunia and Vernon watched.

Look, Harry felt like saying, not only can I make things disappear or explode or float up in the air just by thinking about it, I can also balance assets and expenses against liabilities, equity and revenue! I can also do what you do better than you.

He thought it gave him a new appreciation and understanding of Hermione as well. It was almost enough (not quite) to make him want to devote the rest of his summer to studying up on the history of magic, even though the topic had always seemed quite irrelevant to him, just because he could imagine how good it would feel to raise his hand in class, confident that he had all the answers.

He wrote her to ask her about the wizarding equivalent of accounting, whether it was similar to the Muggle version, and whether it was a good job to have.

Harry was beginning to waver in what had once been his firm intention to become an Auror. He was noticing that people in that job tended to get killed a lot, and also that Harry himself was very good at getting himself into life-threatening situations, though so far he'd also been pretty good at getting himself out of them. He was still committed to fighting evil, of course, but surely accountants had their part to play in the struggle as well. Surely they were needed.

Hermione wrote back to say she was pleased to hear he was doing some homework, though he would do better off doing his own than Dudley's. Wizarding accounting was done almost entirely by goblins, as he ought to know from his visits to Gringotts, even if he refused to read up on the history. The jobs of wizards, elves and goblins had been segregated by an unjust system set up by the wizards to ensure their own place at the top of the hierarchy, but goblins had made a niche for themselves in the financial arena and it really wouldn't be fair of Harry to try to usurp that from his position of privilege. Besides which, no, it was not at all similar to Muggle accounting, so what he was learning this summer was unlikely to help him there.

She also said that she was having a wonderful time at the Burrow, thank you, and Ron and Ginny sent their love.

Harry decided that was all right after all. He'd put his energy into defeating Voldemort for now, but if he managed to do the job in the next few years then perhaps there wouldn't be any need for Aurors by the time he grew up. As much as he liked magic, it would be good to be able to make a living in the Muggle world. Always good to have a fall-back career, he thought.

In the meantime, somehow, he was having his best summer ever at Number four, Privet Drive.

"Hullo, Dudley," he said, grinning, when he heard his cousin come tramping up the stairs, "Tell us what you learned today."

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, this was fantastic!

I especially enjoyed Hermione's reaction about the segregation of wizards and goblins, etc. Too true to her!

He was still committed to fighting evil, of course, but surely accountants had their part to play in the struggle as well.

This tickled me for some reason!

What a well-thought out, psychologically set fic. You win!

[aprilkat.livejournal.com]

Whoops, somehow got signed out! Sorry, 'tis I!

[sophinisba]

Thank you very much! Hermione's response was my favorite part to write. I just love her.