Sophinisba Solis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sophinisba) wrote2006-03-11 02:10 pm
sophinisba) wrote2006-03-11 02:10 pm
Entry tags:
friending on lj
Benvenuta ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
janira11! Ho visto i tuoi comentari in diversi conti che noi due citiamo e sembri una ragazza simpatica e intelligente. Spero che possiamo ci conoscere meglio. (Ha ha ha, well, I did my best. It's been a few years since Italian class and I never was that great at it.)
Friending can be damned awkward, don't you think? There are such diverse views across LJ about what a friends list means, and it's hard to know what to expect when people don't tell you their policy on their userinfo page or another easily visible place. (That was me being crabby and bossy, did you see?) In a few places I've seen people ask "Is it okay for me to friend you?" in an LJ comment and get no response. Not wanting to end up in this situation myself, I'm much more likely to say "I'm friending you, hope that's not a problem" or not say anything at all, especially if it's one of these types who doesn't always respond to comments. I put it on the unfriendly person to say something if she really doesn't want me around.
My question is though is this: does anyone actually object to being friended? I don't mean someone demanding to be friended back, but just a quiet "Hello, I'm reading." As long as everyone's of age, is there any reason not to want someone to add you to their reading list? Have you ever seen someone say no, or otherwise communicate that they don't want certain people to friend? And if not, where does this custom of asking for permission come from?
janira11! Ho visto i tuoi comentari in diversi conti che noi due citiamo e sembri una ragazza simpatica e intelligente. Spero che possiamo ci conoscere meglio. (Ha ha ha, well, I did my best. It's been a few years since Italian class and I never was that great at it.)Friending can be damned awkward, don't you think? There are such diverse views across LJ about what a friends list means, and it's hard to know what to expect when people don't tell you their policy on their userinfo page or another easily visible place. (That was me being crabby and bossy, did you see?) In a few places I've seen people ask "Is it okay for me to friend you?" in an LJ comment and get no response. Not wanting to end up in this situation myself, I'm much more likely to say "I'm friending you, hope that's not a problem" or not say anything at all, especially if it's one of these types who doesn't always respond to comments. I put it on the unfriendly person to say something if she really doesn't want me around.
My question is though is this: does anyone actually object to being friended? I don't mean someone demanding to be friended back, but just a quiet "Hello, I'm reading." As long as everyone's of age, is there any reason not to want someone to add you to their reading list? Have you ever seen someone say no, or otherwise communicate that they don't want certain people to friend? And if not, where does this custom of asking for permission come from?
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Anyway. Yes. It's awkward. I never feel like I know the right thing to say either. If it's someone I feel close with then I'm likely to just follow the lead of others and echo what they've said, because I never know the right thing. For me though, the times I've posted about personal problems, a lot of it was just journaling, the need to write the feelings out and try to understand them. Then all the hugs I got were really wonderful and I'm thankful to all the people who left them. But for the most part the advice, the practical part, was pretty straightforward, was nearly everyone saying the same thing. So if less people had commented I would still have been okay.