Sophinisba Solis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sophinisba) wrote2009-10-28 10:14 am
sophinisba) wrote2009-10-28 10:14 am
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3 Merlin femslash fics
It's rarepair femslash day at my journal! \o/ I'm reposting my remix of woldy plus two more of the ficlets I wrote for the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
camelot_fleet party last weekend. Here's a screencap of Forridel for reference – Merlin meets her in just one scene of episode 2x03. My two fics about her are not compatible with each other.
Title: From Darkness (The Witches Will Be Dangerous Remix)
Pairing: Nimueh/Morgana
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for 1x13; (skip) Canon character death.
Words: 400
Notes: Remix of The Line Dividing (1700 words), by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
woldy for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
remixthedrabble. Originally posted here. Titles from the Adrienne Rich poem "From an Old House in America". Thanks to slightlytookish for looking this over for me.
After the betrayal, the lightning strike and all the pain, there is nothing. Not even numbness or solitude, silence or eternity.
Not even floating, not even loss.
No line dividing darkness from dawn.
Loneliness is the first emotion to return, the ache of stretching fingers through the darkness and touching only night. There used to be a connection there. She concentrates on the memory of another woman's hand, reaches, and falls back.
After loneliness comes pain, and with it terror, as two more women join her in violent, burning death. Nimueh's sight grows stronger in the light of the flames. She breathes the smoke and hears the screams and when it's over she is overcome, but she remembers now who she is, and she is no longer alone.
She reaches, and at last she understands what she's reaching for.
Every time Uther's men build up the pyre, she burns on it and then climbs higher. She not only knows herself but makes herself known.
The girl is resistant, has been told all her life that her dreams are as dangerous as a knife's blade or a poisoned cup. She trembles when her spirit recognizes Nimueh's name, Nimueh's eyes, the purpose of Nimueh's altar.
But the girl is not a coward or a fool. She listens to the words Nimueh speaks in her mind. She looks around in her dream, learns the position of the mountains and the moon so she can return on a night when she doesn't sleep.
She is Nimueh's counterpart in the world of the living, drawing strength from her anger as the king murders their sisters.
Then one night Morgana comes to her in the flesh and cuts the hand Nimueh has tried so hard to touch, spilling her blood on the altar. Nimueh screams out loud because the pain is real this time, real as her own flesh recovered.
"Not like this," she says out loud, reveling in the sensations of real breath and sound. "I do not need another sacrifice. I need a hand to hold."
They come together in flesh and spirit, and no blade or torch will separate them from now on. This altar is not a pyre built for death. On top of it two living women's bodies tangle into one, reaching together toward the moon and stars.
"Like this," says Nimueh. "This is the how the balance will be restored."
Title: Sparring Partners
Pairing: Forridel/Morgana
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: AU of 2x03, no warnings needed
Words: 810
Notes: Forwoldy's prompt "steel and/or whispers", originally posted here at camelot_fleet.
"Thank you," Forridel whispered when they were together again. She wasn't supposed to be here. She hadn't told Aglain that she knew any of Uther's household, only that she'd been lucky to escape the city alive. "That servant of Arthur's, it was you who sent him, wasn't it?"
Morgana nodded. "There was a whole list of names, but I told him where to find you and what you looked like. I didn't believe you were really one of them, but I couldn't stop thinking what would happen if–"
"Shhh," said Forridel. "We knew what we were doing. All of us who choose to live in Camelot know there are risks." There were also benefits, some she hadn't counted on. "Right now we need to concentrate on getting you well. Later we can figure out what to do about Uther."
*
Forridel had gone to Camelot last year thinking she'd purchase the supplies they needed – including a dagger and a sword – and return to the camp the next day. She certainly hadn't expected the King's own ward to show up at the blacksmith's shop. But Forridel barely had a moment to panic before Tom grinned and greeted her, "Lady Morgana, so good of you to come. Gwen said she's feeling much better today, said she could go back to work tomorrow, but let me go and get her."
"There's no need," Morgana said quickly. "Let her rest, I only came to give her –"
"But it's no trouble, and she'll be glad to see you." Tom shocked Forridel by interrupting the noblewoman. "You just wait here. Talk to Forridel if you like – first woman I ever met that just might know more about swords than you and my Gwen."
And that was the beginning, two minutes alone in a forge, and Forridel barely able to believe she was actually talking to this girl, this young woman. To believe that such a woman could be loved and protected by the man who'd murdered so many of Forridel's people. To believe such a woman was friendly to blacksmiths and servants and strangers, that she had a lilting voice and an easy, brilliant smile.
Somehow by the time Tom came back (by the time Forridel was able to look at Tom's beautiful daughter and think, taken), Morgana had already suggested they get together the following day to practice sparring without any of the boys around, and Forridel had already agreed.
Forridel took the food and the tools and the dagger back to the encampment. She told Aglain she had work keeping her in Camelot.
She didn't tell him she'd made a contact within the castle. He would probably say it wasn't safe for Forridel to even talk to the Lady Morgana, let alone teach her how they fought in the wild. (Morgana, in turn, taught Forridel some things she hadn't known about Uther's knights and their weaknesses.)
She didn't tell Aglain she'd met a beautiful woman and wanted to be around her, let alone that she liked seeing the high flush on her cheeks or hearing her pant when they'd been fighting for hours.
Months went by like that. Forridel kept it secret from the druids, Morgana kept it secret from the castle, and they both kept secrets from each other.
Forridel didn't tell anyone, not even Morgana herself, when she began to suspect that the king's ward had more in common with Forridel and Aglain and Mordred than with the man who'd raised her.
When the time came, Forridel thought – Forridel knew – Morgana would be on their side.
*
When Arthur's servant came to tell them of the arrests, of the king's threat to execute all those who hadn't got away when Forridel did, Morgana said she wouldn't go back, that she'd found her people and needed to stay with them.
"Morgana," said Forridel, taking her hand, "the ones in Uther's dungeons are your people too. If you would not see me burn, if you would not let them take Mordred, or Aglain, or this friend of yours" – the boy's eyes were wide with surprise and fear. But really, it was easy enough to see he was more than a friend, he was one of them. "If you care for us, and for yourself, Morgana, do not hide out here and let other people suffer for your sake."
Aglain came into the tent then, and he had no time for anger at Forridel or the boy because Arthur and his men were on their way. "We must flee," said Aglain.
"No," said Morgana. "I can't run with this foot…and I don't want to hide." She squeezed Forridel's hand and reached for her sword. "We must go to them, together, and tell Arthur the truth. If he accepts it, we'll be safe."
"And if he doesn't," Forridel finished for her, "we know how to fight."
Title: Here and Now
Pairing: Forridel/Hunith
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None; takes place after 2x03 but not very spoilery.
Words: 1230
Summary: In exchange for telling him how to find the druids, Forridel insisted Merlin tell her how to find a safe place to hide.
Notes: Inspired by a conversation atcamelot_fleet and originally posted here.
In exchange for telling him how to find the druids, Forridel insisted the boy – who was obviously not from Camelot – tell her how to find a safe place to hide. She'd never be able to go back to Camelot now, and she didn't want to bring more danger to the druids either, but if she could get far enough away –
She hadn't counted on his safe place being quite this far though. She'd been walking three days already and barely met a soul on the road. She hadn't had time to bring food or even a change of clothes with her and was getting by on fruit from the forest and water from the stream. She carried only her sword, and the heavy steel was weighing her down. Still, when she thought of the beasts of the forest, the bandits of the road, and Uther's men still behind her, she wouldn't dream of letting it go.
This morning she'd finally crossed the ridge, struggling and stumbling as she made her way back to level land. She was tired and filthy and sore from sleeping on the ground, but she breathed a deep sigh of relief, knowing that at last she was beyond Uther's reach, and close to her destination.
Her heart sunk only a little as she reached the edges of the village. Merlin had said it was small, but it was hard for Forridel, born and raised in Camelot, to even call this a village. It was little more than a few poor huts – many of them recently damaged, she thought. How long could she really stand living in a place like this (if they would even have her)? Then again, what if the alternative was not to go on living at all?
Two young boys on the road directed her to Hunith's house and then stood there, staring after the strange woman with the sword. There really was no way of hiding it, and she wasn't about to leave it behind. But she set it down at her feet before she knocked, and when Hunith opened the door Forridel was holding only the note Merlin had scrawled before rushing away back toward the castle.
"Forridel helped me and Morgana. I love you," was all he'd taken the time to write.
"Is he all right?" Hunith asked, no suspicion at all in her face, no worry over the weapon lying between them or the fact that they'd never laid eyes on each other before, only pleading, "Is Merlin in danger?"
He could well be. Forridel knew almost nothing about him, only that he'd seemed determined but preoccupied when she left him. "No," she said. "He is the prince's servant, is he not? They're only after –" she hesitated, not used to speaking of it out loud, but no, she was safe now, and Merlin had said he was a friend – "they were trying to capture those of us who practice magic. Merlin found out ahead of time, and he helped me get away. I left him three days ago and…I could tell he was worried about something, but it wasn't his own safety. I believe he is well."
She'd done her best to be honest but reassuring, prepared herself for Hunith either to send her away (who would want to shelter a witch) or accept it with relief. But her face was crumpling with fear. Suddenly she reached out and wrapped her arms around Forridel, who could only stand there, stock still, wondering what on earth she'd got herself into.
After a moment Hunith let her go and took a step back, no longer looking Forridel in the eye. At least she wasn't crying.
"He'll be all right," Forridel said stiffly, and Hunith nodded and sighed deeply.
"He is used to taking care of himself," she said at last. "He's grown up a lot since he left home. I'm sure he… I'm sure he gets into trouble all the time there, just as he used to do here. Somehow he always finds his way out again." She looked up. "Forgive me, you must be exhausted and I haven't even invited you in. Come, come and sit down."
They both paused and looked down at Forridel's sword, and to Forridel's surprise Hunith just laughed. "City folk," she said. "It seems all Merlin's new friends carry weapons. I suppose I should be grateful it's not just his enemies." She picked it up and carried it inside. Forridel followed.
Hunith had very little food but she shared it readily. They sat by the fire and told each other their stories. Forridel admitted she still wasn't sure whether she'd done the right thing in choosing to stay in Camelot once she learned of her own magic. Perhaps if she'd gone to the druids as a girl things would have turned out different, better.
Hunith told her how Merlin had grown up with magic despite never having met the druids or any others who used it. "It's too bad you weren't here," she said with a gentle, sad smile. She said she wondered every day whether by sending her son to Camelot she'd sent him to his death.
Forridel still couldn't think of a single thing to say about the boy she'd known for all of five minutes. This time she was the one to put her arm around Hunith, and for a long time they just sat there, holding each other. "Well," said Forridel, "right or wrong, those were the choices we made. Nothing to take us back now."
"And I wouldn't like to try to decide again," Hunith agreed. "I'm so sorry you've lost your home, Forridel, but I'm glad you came here. No one will look for you in Ealdor." She paused and then added, "Besides that, I've missed the company."
When the fire started to die down to its embers Forridel, without much thought, waved a hand at it and told it to burn brighter and hotter.
"I've missed that too," Hunith said with a laugh. "I never could use it myself, and Merlin nearly drove me mad with his pranks. But I never realised until last winter, after he left, just how useful magic could be, how much I'd come to depend on it without even knowing."
Forridel nodded, thinking about the holes in the roof and the fence, the scars on Hunith's face and hands, and all the other things she'd start to work making better in the morning.
Hunith didn't have a bed, but she offered the single straw pallet, and Forridel's muscles ached too much for her to refuse. "Share it with me," she said, even though the pallet was narrow and she'd only known Hunith for a few hours, not long enough to be sure just what they were to each other, or whether Hunith was the kind of woman to want to lie down with another. What she knew was that they'd been touching for most of the time they'd been together, and she didn't want to give up that comfort now.
Hunith didn't either. They slept in the warmth of each other's arms and the fire that Forridel kept burning strong. She didn't know what would come tomorrow, or what was happening in Camelot or at the druids' camp, but she knew this was right, this was where she needed to be.
woldy plus two more of the ficlets I wrote for the camelot_fleet party last weekend. Here's a screencap of Forridel for reference – Merlin meets her in just one scene of episode 2x03. My two fics about her are not compatible with each other.
Title: From Darkness (The Witches Will Be Dangerous Remix)
Pairing: Nimueh/Morgana
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for 1x13; (skip) Canon character death.
Words: 400
Notes: Remix of The Line Dividing (1700 words), by
woldy for remixthedrabble. Originally posted here. Titles from the Adrienne Rich poem "From an Old House in America". Thanks to slightlytookish for looking this over for me.After the betrayal, the lightning strike and all the pain, there is nothing. Not even numbness or solitude, silence or eternity.
Not even floating, not even loss.
No line dividing darkness from dawn.
Loneliness is the first emotion to return, the ache of stretching fingers through the darkness and touching only night. There used to be a connection there. She concentrates on the memory of another woman's hand, reaches, and falls back.
After loneliness comes pain, and with it terror, as two more women join her in violent, burning death. Nimueh's sight grows stronger in the light of the flames. She breathes the smoke and hears the screams and when it's over she is overcome, but she remembers now who she is, and she is no longer alone.
She reaches, and at last she understands what she's reaching for.
Every time Uther's men build up the pyre, she burns on it and then climbs higher. She not only knows herself but makes herself known.
The girl is resistant, has been told all her life that her dreams are as dangerous as a knife's blade or a poisoned cup. She trembles when her spirit recognizes Nimueh's name, Nimueh's eyes, the purpose of Nimueh's altar.
But the girl is not a coward or a fool. She listens to the words Nimueh speaks in her mind. She looks around in her dream, learns the position of the mountains and the moon so she can return on a night when she doesn't sleep.
She is Nimueh's counterpart in the world of the living, drawing strength from her anger as the king murders their sisters.
Then one night Morgana comes to her in the flesh and cuts the hand Nimueh has tried so hard to touch, spilling her blood on the altar. Nimueh screams out loud because the pain is real this time, real as her own flesh recovered.
"Not like this," she says out loud, reveling in the sensations of real breath and sound. "I do not need another sacrifice. I need a hand to hold."
They come together in flesh and spirit, and no blade or torch will separate them from now on. This altar is not a pyre built for death. On top of it two living women's bodies tangle into one, reaching together toward the moon and stars.
"Like this," says Nimueh. "This is the how the balance will be restored."
Title: Sparring Partners
Pairing: Forridel/Morgana
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: AU of 2x03, no warnings needed
Words: 810
Notes: For
woldy's prompt "steel and/or whispers", originally posted here at camelot_fleet."Thank you," Forridel whispered when they were together again. She wasn't supposed to be here. She hadn't told Aglain that she knew any of Uther's household, only that she'd been lucky to escape the city alive. "That servant of Arthur's, it was you who sent him, wasn't it?"
Morgana nodded. "There was a whole list of names, but I told him where to find you and what you looked like. I didn't believe you were really one of them, but I couldn't stop thinking what would happen if–"
"Shhh," said Forridel. "We knew what we were doing. All of us who choose to live in Camelot know there are risks." There were also benefits, some she hadn't counted on. "Right now we need to concentrate on getting you well. Later we can figure out what to do about Uther."
*
Forridel had gone to Camelot last year thinking she'd purchase the supplies they needed – including a dagger and a sword – and return to the camp the next day. She certainly hadn't expected the King's own ward to show up at the blacksmith's shop. But Forridel barely had a moment to panic before Tom grinned and greeted her, "Lady Morgana, so good of you to come. Gwen said she's feeling much better today, said she could go back to work tomorrow, but let me go and get her."
"There's no need," Morgana said quickly. "Let her rest, I only came to give her –"
"But it's no trouble, and she'll be glad to see you." Tom shocked Forridel by interrupting the noblewoman. "You just wait here. Talk to Forridel if you like – first woman I ever met that just might know more about swords than you and my Gwen."
And that was the beginning, two minutes alone in a forge, and Forridel barely able to believe she was actually talking to this girl, this young woman. To believe that such a woman could be loved and protected by the man who'd murdered so many of Forridel's people. To believe such a woman was friendly to blacksmiths and servants and strangers, that she had a lilting voice and an easy, brilliant smile.
Somehow by the time Tom came back (by the time Forridel was able to look at Tom's beautiful daughter and think, taken), Morgana had already suggested they get together the following day to practice sparring without any of the boys around, and Forridel had already agreed.
Forridel took the food and the tools and the dagger back to the encampment. She told Aglain she had work keeping her in Camelot.
She didn't tell him she'd made a contact within the castle. He would probably say it wasn't safe for Forridel to even talk to the Lady Morgana, let alone teach her how they fought in the wild. (Morgana, in turn, taught Forridel some things she hadn't known about Uther's knights and their weaknesses.)
She didn't tell Aglain she'd met a beautiful woman and wanted to be around her, let alone that she liked seeing the high flush on her cheeks or hearing her pant when they'd been fighting for hours.
Months went by like that. Forridel kept it secret from the druids, Morgana kept it secret from the castle, and they both kept secrets from each other.
Forridel didn't tell anyone, not even Morgana herself, when she began to suspect that the king's ward had more in common with Forridel and Aglain and Mordred than with the man who'd raised her.
When the time came, Forridel thought – Forridel knew – Morgana would be on their side.
*
When Arthur's servant came to tell them of the arrests, of the king's threat to execute all those who hadn't got away when Forridel did, Morgana said she wouldn't go back, that she'd found her people and needed to stay with them.
"Morgana," said Forridel, taking her hand, "the ones in Uther's dungeons are your people too. If you would not see me burn, if you would not let them take Mordred, or Aglain, or this friend of yours" – the boy's eyes were wide with surprise and fear. But really, it was easy enough to see he was more than a friend, he was one of them. "If you care for us, and for yourself, Morgana, do not hide out here and let other people suffer for your sake."
Aglain came into the tent then, and he had no time for anger at Forridel or the boy because Arthur and his men were on their way. "We must flee," said Aglain.
"No," said Morgana. "I can't run with this foot…and I don't want to hide." She squeezed Forridel's hand and reached for her sword. "We must go to them, together, and tell Arthur the truth. If he accepts it, we'll be safe."
"And if he doesn't," Forridel finished for her, "we know how to fight."
Title: Here and Now
Pairing: Forridel/Hunith
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None; takes place after 2x03 but not very spoilery.
Words: 1230
Summary: In exchange for telling him how to find the druids, Forridel insisted Merlin tell her how to find a safe place to hide.
Notes: Inspired by a conversation at
camelot_fleet and originally posted here.In exchange for telling him how to find the druids, Forridel insisted the boy – who was obviously not from Camelot – tell her how to find a safe place to hide. She'd never be able to go back to Camelot now, and she didn't want to bring more danger to the druids either, but if she could get far enough away –
She hadn't counted on his safe place being quite this far though. She'd been walking three days already and barely met a soul on the road. She hadn't had time to bring food or even a change of clothes with her and was getting by on fruit from the forest and water from the stream. She carried only her sword, and the heavy steel was weighing her down. Still, when she thought of the beasts of the forest, the bandits of the road, and Uther's men still behind her, she wouldn't dream of letting it go.
This morning she'd finally crossed the ridge, struggling and stumbling as she made her way back to level land. She was tired and filthy and sore from sleeping on the ground, but she breathed a deep sigh of relief, knowing that at last she was beyond Uther's reach, and close to her destination.
Her heart sunk only a little as she reached the edges of the village. Merlin had said it was small, but it was hard for Forridel, born and raised in Camelot, to even call this a village. It was little more than a few poor huts – many of them recently damaged, she thought. How long could she really stand living in a place like this (if they would even have her)? Then again, what if the alternative was not to go on living at all?
Two young boys on the road directed her to Hunith's house and then stood there, staring after the strange woman with the sword. There really was no way of hiding it, and she wasn't about to leave it behind. But she set it down at her feet before she knocked, and when Hunith opened the door Forridel was holding only the note Merlin had scrawled before rushing away back toward the castle.
"Forridel helped me and Morgana. I love you," was all he'd taken the time to write.
"Is he all right?" Hunith asked, no suspicion at all in her face, no worry over the weapon lying between them or the fact that they'd never laid eyes on each other before, only pleading, "Is Merlin in danger?"
He could well be. Forridel knew almost nothing about him, only that he'd seemed determined but preoccupied when she left him. "No," she said. "He is the prince's servant, is he not? They're only after –" she hesitated, not used to speaking of it out loud, but no, she was safe now, and Merlin had said he was a friend – "they were trying to capture those of us who practice magic. Merlin found out ahead of time, and he helped me get away. I left him three days ago and…I could tell he was worried about something, but it wasn't his own safety. I believe he is well."
She'd done her best to be honest but reassuring, prepared herself for Hunith either to send her away (who would want to shelter a witch) or accept it with relief. But her face was crumpling with fear. Suddenly she reached out and wrapped her arms around Forridel, who could only stand there, stock still, wondering what on earth she'd got herself into.
After a moment Hunith let her go and took a step back, no longer looking Forridel in the eye. At least she wasn't crying.
"He'll be all right," Forridel said stiffly, and Hunith nodded and sighed deeply.
"He is used to taking care of himself," she said at last. "He's grown up a lot since he left home. I'm sure he… I'm sure he gets into trouble all the time there, just as he used to do here. Somehow he always finds his way out again." She looked up. "Forgive me, you must be exhausted and I haven't even invited you in. Come, come and sit down."
They both paused and looked down at Forridel's sword, and to Forridel's surprise Hunith just laughed. "City folk," she said. "It seems all Merlin's new friends carry weapons. I suppose I should be grateful it's not just his enemies." She picked it up and carried it inside. Forridel followed.
Hunith had very little food but she shared it readily. They sat by the fire and told each other their stories. Forridel admitted she still wasn't sure whether she'd done the right thing in choosing to stay in Camelot once she learned of her own magic. Perhaps if she'd gone to the druids as a girl things would have turned out different, better.
Hunith told her how Merlin had grown up with magic despite never having met the druids or any others who used it. "It's too bad you weren't here," she said with a gentle, sad smile. She said she wondered every day whether by sending her son to Camelot she'd sent him to his death.
Forridel still couldn't think of a single thing to say about the boy she'd known for all of five minutes. This time she was the one to put her arm around Hunith, and for a long time they just sat there, holding each other. "Well," said Forridel, "right or wrong, those were the choices we made. Nothing to take us back now."
"And I wouldn't like to try to decide again," Hunith agreed. "I'm so sorry you've lost your home, Forridel, but I'm glad you came here. No one will look for you in Ealdor." She paused and then added, "Besides that, I've missed the company."
When the fire started to die down to its embers Forridel, without much thought, waved a hand at it and told it to burn brighter and hotter.
"I've missed that too," Hunith said with a laugh. "I never could use it myself, and Merlin nearly drove me mad with his pranks. But I never realised until last winter, after he left, just how useful magic could be, how much I'd come to depend on it without even knowing."
Forridel nodded, thinking about the holes in the roof and the fence, the scars on Hunith's face and hands, and all the other things she'd start to work making better in the morning.
Hunith didn't have a bed, but she offered the single straw pallet, and Forridel's muscles ached too much for her to refuse. "Share it with me," she said, even though the pallet was narrow and she'd only known Hunith for a few hours, not long enough to be sure just what they were to each other, or whether Hunith was the kind of woman to want to lie down with another. What she knew was that they'd been touching for most of the time they'd been together, and she didn't want to give up that comfort now.
Hunith didn't either. They slept in the warmth of each other's arms and the fire that Forridel kept burning strong. She didn't know what would come tomorrow, or what was happening in Camelot or at the druids' camp, but she knew this was right, this was where she needed to be.
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